One of the concepts that make success more interesting is the fact that we don’t deserve it. It is natural to feel we deserve less than others as human beings. There are some people that use the line as a form of encouragement sometimes. This is not a good mindset. It is high time we put all of that energy to a whole new mindset entirely using the exact same tools that were so effective in creating that cocoon of self-doubt and low confidence.
The path to success is paved with confidence. But we can help you turn self-doubt into self-love, so you have a better chance at loving your dreams in reality. From silencing the self-hating voice talking mindfully, embracing all of who you are and even starting the morning on a path to success, we’ll show you how to change your thoughts AND how they make you look to the world around you. See which tips serve you best, below.
Get on the path to confidence and success with a few simple tips
Silence the Self-Hate
You know your inner voice, right? It should be the loudest voice you listen to regardless of what anyone is saying to you. Avoid negative self-talk in your inner voice as it has a way of damaging you pretty fast. If you have junk filled in your inner voice, it is high time you filled it with positive phrases. This might not be an easy task but it is an amazing one. Tips below are to help you change the topic in your inner voice if it starts speaking gibberish.
- Imagine those hateful words coming from someone you don’t respect. Have a celebrity you despise? Imagine those words coming out of that person’s mouth. Would you give them the same level of belief that you’re giving your inner voice? Remember that it may be people just like the ones you don’t like who helped you develop that mean voice.
- Keep an image in your mind of yourself looking your best and happiest, or in your “happy place.” When that voice starts in, silence it with your vision of happiness.
- Be realistic. Sometimes that inner voice is so extreme, it’s ridiculous. You don’t “always” do anything and “never” is a long time, so shut those extremes off with logic. Think about the words or phrases you use most often. Now, tell yourself something more likely. “You’ll never be happy” can easily be replaced with the more realistic, “You set your own standards for happiness.”
Start Talking Mindfully
Many people believe they have random thoughts and they do not have control over the things that go on in their mind; this is not true. Years of practice influences the kind of thoughts that come to our minds. Mindful thinking can be a solution to the problem of being immersed in self-doubt and lack of confidence.
- Recognize your triggers. What triggers many people is people and goals. You need to be prepared for the worst and you can practice this with conversations that have not happened yet unconsciously. People who have consciously or unconsciously embedded negativity in your thoughts should be avoided so you can succeed. In the aspect of your goals, your thinking should be what happens when you succeed and not what happens when you fail.
- Beat your voice to the punch. If you can tell when the negative self-talk will start, head it off at the pass with a few encouraging words. Give yourself a good talk before meeting with your triggers. Lay the foundation for a positive experience.
- Reject anything you wouldn’t say to someone else. We are often our own worst critics and while we speak words of encouragement to those we love, we don’t always put that effort into ourselves. When the negative talk starts, remind yourself that it’s rude to speak like that to people, and replace the words with something more useful, like the encouragement you would give to a friend.
Embrace Your Flaws
What many people forget to do after being clouded by the people telling them to stay positive, think happy thoughts and basically live a life without the reality of the dark side of life is that they forget to embrace their negative parts and thank God for them.
Always take note that every part of your personality serves a special purpose and your flaws and dark sides are not left out. Some of those trying times came because you need them at some point but hopefully those periods are gone. People tend to change themselves by hiding and suppressing their flaws. What happens eventually is that those flaws end up erupting and fester at the most inconvenient times.
Imaging you are heading to a job interview where you started reminding yourself that you are not very good at speaking to the public and since you are interviewing with more than one person, you might blow everything up. What if you blow it eventually? That was a negative thought coming up at a very bad time.
Now, what if, when you reminded yourself that you aren’t a good public speaker, you instead asked yourself why. Why do you feel the need to suppress your voice around people? Maybe you’ll realize that at some point in your childhood, you had to. Maybe you got in trouble for talking over adults or asking a lot of questions. So you silenced your voice and avoided speaking to or in rooms of people because taking that path was the safest thing to do at the time.
You developed a habit that kept you safe. Thank yourself for being such a miraculous being that your brain knew to develop that habit. Then, recognize that you aren’t at risk anymore. You aren’t a child, and you do know what you’re talking about, and speaking in a room full of people is far less dangerous now than avoiding doing so, which could ultimately lead to you missing out on opportunities. Rinse and repeat for similar scenarios.
Begin Your Day the Right Way
Do you have a to-do list? You need to make a change before you get out of bed so as to pave a way of having a successful day. Some people wake up dreading their activities of the day already and they end up failing at most of them without even starting yet.
What you are supposed to do in turn is to embrace the idea that completing anything on your to-do list is a way to reach a level of success when you wake up; especially if you work with a to-do list. Feel forward motion of your list instead of the weight. Be grateful for where you have gotten to and the fact that you have a brand new day to use as a blank canvas for new achievements.
It is also imperative you take a moment to look at yourself and reflect and see that person as good friend who needs encouragement daily. Encourage yourself as freely as you would to a friend or a loved one.
Practice positive self-talk throughout the day. Thank your flaws and dark side as needed, then move on to a more productive path. The faster you come to terms with the idea that every facet of you has a purpose, including your “flaws,” the faster you may start seeing yourself in a new light. And beyond that, the new confidence and self-love you project might bring like minds and situations to your path.
Never forget that self-doubt and lack of confidence were not created overnight and this means they cannot leave all at once. Just make sure you do not fall back to them as that is very easy. Your positive talk and thoughts would take some time to get effectively built up.